At this very moment, I am supposed to be writing my next book, but a topic I touched upon this morning in my group on Facebook would not let me be. As you can see from the headline, this is meant to be an open letter to husbands everywhere – whether you agree with me or not after you have read it remains to be seen.
However, this topic is actually something that I have thought a lot about the last many, many, many years.
So here it is.
I am happily married to a fantastic man who understands me like no one else does – but for one thing: he does not really get my fascination with and love for romance novels. Which is fine, to a certain degree – we are all different. But seriously? If he did read romance novels, maybe he would understand me even more than he already does.
I am sure that there are a lot of men out there who read sexy novels – and I am not talking about porn, thank you very much. This is not what romance novels is about. More and more male authors are coming forward now, being open about writing these books – and I love that – but to the average guy, I think that admitting to reading them – or simply being curious about them but afraid to try them out – is something they feel weird about. So I ask you this:
Why are you embarrassed?
It is my belief that reading romance can be beneficial to not only who you are as a person, but also to your relationship. Now, I am no psychologist (thank goodness), so I can only speak for myself, of course. And get that dirty mind out of the gutter: yes, maybe if men read romance novels, they would become better lovers than some of them are. Yes, it is no secret that I like to read and write books that are quite steamy and sexy because I can learn a lot from them; and I am positive that many of my friends feel like I do when I say that when you have been with the same person in many years, your sex life has the risk of turning a bit…well, boring, to be honest – unless you have a great imagination and are open about your needs.
But I digress.
Dear husbands, I am absolutely certain that if you began to read romance novels, not only would you get a much better idea about what goes on in the female psyche – which, as you are already aware of, can be quite scary, and, frankly, an impossible task at times. But you would also get some insight into becoming a good, no, a fantastic lover as well – something that can only be a major plus for everyone involved.
No, you cannot learn everything you need to know from books – especially not when it concerns matters of the heart. The foundation comes from your home – your parents – but we all remember, I am sure, the absolutelely cringeworthy experience it was to be told about the birds and the bees by our mums and dads, don’t we? (Ugh. Just thinking about it now makes me gag.) And honestly? Most of my knowledge about these things comes from books I have read or looked up online – definitely not from movies or asking my parents (*gags*).
If you have made it this far, I thank you. I will be the first to admit that there might not really be a point to this blog post other than the fact that I feel, like most should, that there is definitely nothing to be embarrassed about when you openly admit to enjoying romance novels. Quite the contrary. It does not matter if you are male or female: not hiding what you read is crucial, in my opinion. Why hide something that makes you feel good? Why hide something that gives you comfort? Why hide something that has the ability to teach you a thing or two? Hmm?
I am not claiming to be an expert on this subject, not at all. I am still learning every day, but there is one thing that I can say without a shadow of a doubt that is the truth:
The fact that I read and write romance novels? It has only made my own relationship stronger – not the opposite.
And that is pretty fantastic.
(If any of my followers have husbands who openly admits to reading romance novels, I would love to hear from you! Just shoot me a message below.)